


So Close

by HetaFruitsOuranHp321



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/M, I Will Go Down With This Ship, big brother hunk, lance goddammit you idiot, no matter what anyone says, pidge please don't cry, plangst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-11 17:06:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11718723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HetaFruitsOuranHp321/pseuds/HetaFruitsOuranHp321
Summary: They say that when you almost have something, it's so close yet so far. Pidge has always pushed her enamored feelings for the Blue Paladin aside, in fear of being accused of selfishness once again by the team. But one night, she can not ignore it any longer and must come face to face with the facts.Love is a burden, isn't it?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first actual genuine Voltron shipping fanfiction. Not only that, but also with a ship I actually really adore. If you can give critique, that'd be awesome! 
> 
> I was actually inspired by the song and accompanying dance scene from Enchanted. The song is So Close by Jon McLaughlin if you want a mood for the fic.

It was Allura's idea for a grand ball. A ball of celebration. After all these years of fighting Zarkon and his son Lotor, they've won. It was not a question of why the party was to be thrown. The castle's main hall was prepped in a glamour of decorations. The golden lights of the lit hall was beyond words of beauty. Truly, Coran and Allura outdid themselves. The music was lively and the guests livelier. All sorts of races and personalities come together in a joy filled occasion. Allura was laughing and smiling with leaders of planets who had gathered to discuss the successes of Voltron. 

The other paladins were attending to adoring fans. Most of them anyways. 

Pidge had kept to herself, by the food tables. She was joined by Hunk, but even as he had stuffed himself of the cuisines and snacks, he was surrounded by those who were to congratulate him. Staying by his side was Shay. Pidge smiled. She knew there was something akin to fancying that the two shared. Interesting children they may have, too. Pidge chuckled at the thought. A frown crept onto her face as she looked over to see Matthew and her father sharing a bonding moment with Keith and Shiro. Pidge had given them the benefit of being with their teammate once again. After all, she hadn't been away from their side since they'd been found. Even when both had to heal in the pods, she was always with them.

They'd all have to go home soon. Everyone. She'd moved plenty of times in the past, due to her father's work, to know how it'd go. The team, Allura, and Coran would promise to stay in touch, never let go of the friendships they've grown. They'd do so, but only for months. They'd start to drift and before they knew it, they were all just strangers they'd once known. Pidge looked down at her green silky dress. Her sleeves, transparent, had reached to her elbows and Pidge had decided to wear her hair down to the shoulder length it had reached, tucked with a white headband. You couldn't expect that short hair wouldn't grow in years time.

She lost herself in thought, looking down at her heels. Plans to settle back on Earth, how her family would move most likely once again to escape the short living fame paparazzi brought. How the news of Voltron would die down and become old. She almost didn't hear a familiar voice interrupt her thoughts. "Everything okay, Pidgeotto?"

Pidge had jumped and looked up at the tall paladin, his dark brown hair nicely groomed. His soft blue eyes almost smiled as big as his grin. He looked actually really good in his black tuxedo, a blue trimming to conclude to guests that he was in fact the blue Paladin. Shaking her head, Pidge gave him a light punch to the arm. "You should really warn someone before scaring them. But I am okay. Why do you ask, Mr. Sharpshooter?"

Lance seemed amused by his nickname. No matter how many times Pidge called him that, he always grinned and chuckled. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he stood next to her and leaned on the table gently. "I dunno, you looked down. Got anything on your mind?"

"Earth..." Pidge sighed. That got Lance's attention.

"What about it?"

"What are you going to do? When we get back. I assume you'll go back to Garrison, or your family at the very least. Hunk is... Keith and Shiro will room together, they said. I'm going back home with Matt and dad, but what about you?" Pidge asked. This seemed to really surprise Lance, as he was never really expecting that the Green Paladin would be curious to what he was planning to do when they all returned home. He sighed.

"Really... I don't know. I guess my family was an idea but I truly have no idea," he looked down at his feet, shuffling his left foot along the thin line of light as a distraction. "But like you said, maybe I'll go back to Garrison. Learn to pilot something that isn't a giant cat, get a job as a fighter space pilot. I've practically created a sufficient resume for it up here." Lance chuckled as he thought aloud.

Pidge laughed at the ramblings. Her chest was beating fast, and she soon collected herself to calm down. Once her laugh turned into a small smile, she sighed. "I'll confess..." She looked up at Lance and shrugged.

"I was thinking if we stayed in touch, we all could hang out. Maybe you and I could play video games properly. Index finger and pinky infinite lives. I could use that as an advantage against you," Pidge smiled and waited for a reply. Lance only looked at her with his blue orbs in wonder. This was making her chest beat faster, her face almost flushing, almost revealing a blush that wasn't just the makeup. She had to take deep breaths to stop it. 

"But that was just-"

An announcement and a change of tune, and soon there was an abundance of couples together. A song, Altean most likely, was pouring out in an almost romantic like manner. Pidge cursed in her head. If he asked her- 

"Perhaps you can finish that thought in a dance?" Shit. He asked with a hand extended to her, offering an opportunity to join the crowd in a dance. Her head was screaming to say no, to refuse. How could she betray her team to this selfish manner? But her heart... It forced her hand to accept his, to allow his other hand to rest on the small of her waist. It pounded as her eyes betrayed her, to look up to his face. Resting a hand on his shoulder, she shakily let him lead. 

"So what was just?" Huh? Oh...

"Oh uh... It was just a suggestion..." Lance smiled gently.

"I'd actually love to show off my gaming skills to you one day."

It was just after those words that they let the dance take over. The song roared it's atmosphere upon the guests. Pidge was never really great at dancing she could admit, but for some reason, her feet were gracefully following those of Lance's. The melody had only added to Pidge being hypnotized and mesmerized by Lance's eyes. The dance had her shaky, knowing she was close to Lance. So close. His mouth looked tempting, her need to kiss them intensified. This scared her, but it was exciting. Anew. Her heart was racing fast.

They seemed to be the only ones in the room, spinning and stepping along to the beat. Her dress flowed with the air as their spins continued. Her head felt rushed, dizzy. Was it the spinning or was it possibly him? Her stomach filled with a fluttery feeling as she realized he dipped her, holding her securely. They paused for a few ticks, gazing into each other's eyes. As he slowly brought her back up, she was getting closer to his face. Only for her to realize he was leaning. Their eyes both dropped to a half lidded gaze. Pidge's heart was beating so fast, she could hear it pounding in her ears. Lance softly whispered. 

"Katie...?" That sent something off in her. Her eyes widened. She pushed him off gently. No. No no no. He was only going to disconnect from her. She shuffled away from him, holding her arms up defensively against her chest. He looked confused. "K-Katie what are you-"

She didn't let him finish. She only hurried out of the hall. No no no no no! NO! Finding her way outside to a balcony, she leaned against the railings. No. This wasn't supposed to happen. 

She couldn't love him. Her best friend, ally, and fellow teammate. She held her chest as it squeezed. She refused to cry and yet the tears flowed. He was just going to leave her after they returned to Earth. He wasn't going to stay true to his promise. No one ever did if she ever made a friend. "Dammit Lance..."

"Pidge?" She turned around to find Hunk, whose black and yellow trimmed tuxedo seemed to have some sweat from the dancing. Pidge wiped her eyes of tears. 

"Hunk? Shouldn't you be with Shay?" She asked, concerned she was keeping him from her. He looked at her in a concerned way.

"We saw what happened... She suggested I go to you but... Pidge?" Hunk got closer and Pidge decided it was enough. She clung to the big guy and shook. He patted her back as he shushed her. "Hey... Hey... It's okay..."

"I love him... I can't love him Hunk... I can't!" Pidge sobbed into his chest. Hunk stopped for a second before sighing.

"I know you do..."

She only held him tighter, trying to stop. Trying to forget that perhaps Lance would never keep a promise to keep in touch with her. Trying to fight the pain in her chest that stabbed with every beat of her heart. But worst of all...

Trying to forget her feelings for him in general.


	2. So Far

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Pidge's runout, how does the dorito react?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect to be requested to have a part two. This is the first story of mine on this site to have a part two. I'm sorry this is so rushed and yet this took so long. I suddenly had the urge to write again.

She practically ran from him. What did he do wrong? Lance stood in complete confusion and concern. Next thing he knew, Hunk and Shay separated from their dance to have Hunk most likely follow Katie- No. Pidge. No wait... Katie. Perhaps he went wrong there in calling her by her first name. It came out by accident. His brain and heart, however, told him that it was no accident. And he knew that. He figured he should go apologize, but would she want to see him? Probably not. Lance sighed. For all he knew, she hated him now. Probably more than when he had gone into his flirting sprees. Then again, that was more annoyance than hate. This was confusing him. 

"Ah! Lance! Just who I needed to speak to!" The redheaded mustached man came up from behind him and clapped a hand hard onto his shoulder. Lance gave an "Oof" before turning his head to Coran, giving a weak smile. "Whatcha need, Old Man?" 

Coran gave a small scrunch of the nose to the name before smiling. "Shay was asking for you! I figured I might as well be a help and fetch you for her. Though of course, she was headed your way but no matter. Meet halfway-" 

"Coran I need advice." That put a stop to Coran's feet. He looked at Lance in a certain way that said he was listening. Whenever Lance needed something, he always knew that Coran was an option if Shiro was busy. And seeing as the Black Paladin was busy, Coran was just the man. Lance sighed. "I know why Shay needs me. I think I made Pidge angry." 

"Angry?" Lance only winced at the memory as he retold it. "Well, I called her Katie. I mean, we all know it's her real name but while we were dancing, I just slipped up and called her Katie. It was an accident, but not at the same time? It was a stupid move on my part but I feel awful. She must think I'm the worst person in the world. I wasn't thinking, I wasn't giving any thought and yet I acted without hesitation. Coran what do I do?!" Coran twirled his mustache while listening and thinking of a solution. The more he twirled it, the more Lance became nervous. What was Coran thinking? What would he say? Would he blame Lance for his inconsiderate action? Not that Lance would disagree. Thinking back on Katie- Pidge... He felt his chest tighten. Something he'd held back for a long time now. He figured it was just a phase, a little infatuation that would come and go like his countless other little crushes. But no. 

This time it stayed, occupied his very mind and body. He really, really liked Pidge. Lance waited a few ticks before Coran finally gave him the answer that he seemed deem-able. "Talk to Five tonight. I'm sure she would be willing to listen if you give her an explanation. After all, it's not like she hit you this time, as per usual. Of course, sometimes a man just needs a surprise from a beautiful woman in order to react properly." 

Wow, thanks Coran. But he figured it was better to hear something than nothing at all. Lance nodded. "Thanks. Can you tell Shay I've got it handled now?" "No problemo... Or however you say it on Earth..."  
.

. 

. 

It was past what could be two am on Earth. The party goers and few honorary guests chosen by Allura and the Paladins had headed off to either a room in the castle, some scarce in the halls, and some simply headed back home. Home. Lance sighed and felt his stomach flip. Home sweet home would be perfect right now. He knew they'd arrive any day now to Earth when the castle would bring them. He had all the time in the world to say what he wanted to her. Anything really to clear up a confusion. But what would it do? 

The worst would cause him to once again be cuffed to a tree or hypnotized by mermaid aliens. If Lance were honest, those were definitely easier than what he was heading to do. Her door. Just on the other side the said person he needed moments with. Lance felt his fist reach for the door, but he stopped. Could he do it? Could he confront her? Perhaps, or perhaps not. He was afraid that she would brush it off as him trying to be his normal flirty self, or his goofball-sona. That hurt more than it needed to. His arm was still midway to connecting it's knuckles to the grey metal. It was now or never. Could he do it? That got answered with a sigh of air echoing with the slide of the door. The two stopped and looked at each other. 

Blank and confused, but also really embarrassed and with a lot on their minds. She'd been crying obviously. 

"Uh... hey." Nice one Lance. As if she just remembered her state, Lance saw Pidge rub her eyes and push her glasses up. 

"Hey... Just uh... couldn't sleep huh?" 

"Is it obvious? Why are you crying?" 

"I wasn't. I just... My eyes are dry from lack of sleep." Sometimes people were most transparent when they were bothered and lying. Pidge was one of those people. Lance sighed as he crossed his arms and looked down at his feet. 

"Pidge... You and I both know that's a bullshit lie. Was it from what I did tonight? Because I needed to talk to you about that-" 

"This really isn't a time to-" He wasn't going to let her excuse his behavior. 

"This really is a time to talk about it, Pidge. Look, I know how you feel about being called Katie by us. You made it apparent the first day you revealed your biology. If I upset you, or anything, I can't rest until we talk. I want to talk," Lance put his hand on her shoulder gently, letting her know that he meant to apologize properly. "Please, I want to know why you ran off. I won't do it again. It just came out-" 

"Will you just stop?!" Pidge slapped his hand off of her shoulder. Lance stared at her face as it twisted in emotion. Something she was good at hiding. This was new. "I didn't run off because I'm hurt by being called Katie instead of Pidge. Okay?! God you do this every fucking time Lance McClain!" 

"Pidge what are you talking about?" 

"I'm a girl! Yes, my name is Katie, yes. But sometimes I don't feel you actually look at me like one!" Now he was really confused. He was about to ask when she only continued. "Every single time you meet a girl, you flirt. You see them, you just go "I'm Lance! I'm so awesome and handsome and the prettiest boy ever!" And you bathe in their awes and giggles! But no. I'm just some girl you know!" What in the world...? Now he was really confused. 

"I don't see how this relates to tonight at the dance..." His heart ache though seeing her in pain he couldn't help ease. Not this time. "Pidge I don't-" 

"You want the truth?! You want the explanation?!" 

"As a matter of fact yeah I do." Wasn't that obvious? 

"Fine! I like you! Okay?! I really like you!" His brain and whole body went numb at that exact moment. Oh... Oohh... Well fuck. "I kept pushing it away okay?! I kept from trying to ever look at you like more than a friend. You never noticed and it hurt when you talked to other girls like they were your next fling. But I stood to the side! Because I figured I never would get your attention. But I couldn't help but act on my jealousy. Those times I hit you over the head when you goggled at girls instead of focusing? Yeah. That was jealousy. And I'm ashamed of it. You were always close but I was too far from telling the truth. I don't want your pity, Lance. Nor do I want to like you. But I couldn't help pity myself and like you. And I feel ashamed. I feel ashamed I like you, and I feel ashamed of admitting this, but most of all I'm ashamed of myself. Because I knew you were going to forget the team except Hunk. You're going to move on, find someone better. Someone who isn't me. Because deep down I knew... I knew..." 

She hung her head. "Deep down I knew that you and I? The thought of ever 'winning'... As Slav would say... That would be a very slim calculation of happening. And you know what? I accepted it. I accepted never having a chance. Because in the end... I didn't want to get hurt if anything bad happened..." 

This was much to take in. Not too much but... Much... Lance didn't know what to do. Should he hug her? Should he tell her anything that he felt? Because really, it all made sense all at once. She returned his feelings. Feelings such as he wanted to be with her. Wanted to play video games with her, banter about which Eeveelution was better, comfort her in saddening and scary situation. But really, just wanting her. When Pidge was showing no sign of moving at all, Lance acted without thought. 

He gently held her shoulders and kissed the top of her head, causing her to flinch in surprise. "Lance what-" 

"One for my apologies of the past." 

"What are you talking about-" He kissed her right cheek and smiled. "One for every smile I've ever seen on your face." The left was struck next, her tears being kissed away as it seemed. "One for making up for times I know I'll mess up." 

He held her face close to his and leaned in close, her eyes wet from the tears from her crying session still. "Lance?" But that was all she said before he closed his eyes and the gap, kissing her slow and gently. It felt nice, warm... Butterflies few all around, and Lance felt her lean into it. God knew how long that they were like that before they separated. It felt like forever, but to Lance it felt as if it were for longer than that. It didn't seem bad to spend the rest of his life in the bliss of her lips. "What... was that one for?" 

"That one was for you to leave the math to me, Pidge-" 

"Lance... Just call me Katie."


End file.
